Opening Scene

Backstory
The Kingdom of Loathing was once a pleasant place, where all the citizens loathed one another equally, and nobody caused too much trouble. Under the gentle rule of King Ralph XI, peace had prevailed for as long as anybody could remember.

One fateful morning, a Sorceress came to the Kingdom. A Naughty Sorceress. A Naughty Sorceress who was clearly up to no good, and, even more clearly, up to plenty of bad. King Ralph sought to expel the Naughty Sorceress from his Kingdom, but she imprismed him in a black crystalline prism of curdled magic. It was very dramatic.

Monsters emerged from their hidey-holes to terrorize the citizens of Loathing, and larger monsters emerged from their larger hidey-holes to terrorize those monsters, all under the control of the Naughty Sorceress.

With the King gone, a council was formed to attempt to impose order and organize a rescue. However, they liked their new taste of power and decided to leave their King in captivity for a while. However, the monsters were a problem. The Council put out a message to all surrounding kingdoms promising adventure, fame, fortune, and quality products at reasonable prices for any Exterminators who could get the situation under control. Dozens of Extermination companies answered the call, all without success.

Boat Ride
The players awake in a barracks below deck after the 5th day at sea to the sounds of a foghorn sounding and bells ringing. Men on deck hustle around shouting. The smell of diesel fumes fill the room.

Men and women from many different companies around them begin to stir as well, asking "Are we finally here?"

Suddenly, the hatch bursts open and fills the room with morning light. A salty looking sea captain with a bushy grey beard and pipe in his mouth steps in and begins banging a metal pot with a ladle. His skin-and-bones first mate follows him in.

"Wake up you scraggly dogs, we're here!"

All of the other people in the room scramble out of bed and stand at attention in front of their bunks. The first mate moves around the room handing out flyers. The flyers read:"EXTERMINATORS WANTED TO CLEANSE KINGDOM""ADVENTURE, FAME, FORTUNE""QUALITY PRODUCTS AT REASONABLE PRICES ""INQUIRE WITH THE COUNCIL OF LOATHING" "Alright, just like you signed up for. The Kingdom's a mess and that Naughty Sorceress is a real bitch. Get out there and kill some monsters - at least do a better job than the last batch of exterminators..."

"We're dropping you off at Seaside Town. I'd recommend stopping by the Council, but they're a bag of dicks. What do I care, I just get paid to drop of batches of you chumps. Good luck."