Ancient Frozen Dinner

This is a frozen dinner so old that it's mostly just a foil tray full of freezerburn. You briefly consider adopting "Freezerburn" as your superhero name, but decide against it.

When eaten:


 * You eat what essentially amounts to a salisbury steak and mashed potatoes popsicle. It gives you horrible brain freeze, but once your brain thaws, it seems a little smarter.