Necbronomicon

This dreadful-looking tome is bound in blackened human skin, with a strange symbol embossed on it in the welts from countless eons of paddling and beer shotgunning.

Once per week, allows you to summon a Frat Bro, who has all of the stats of a commoner and will obey your commands for 15 minutes, after which he disappears. Only one copy can exist at a time. His name is Skyler.